Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just gift wrapped bread.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
