Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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