HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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