Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
