I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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