He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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