So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
