Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
