i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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