I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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