Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
