Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
