I just pynch a tree in the face
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
