you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
