Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
