working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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