Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
