had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
