i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
