Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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