Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didn't notice because vodka
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
