Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
