But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize