Are we in a gay sports bar?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
