Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
