Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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