paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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