Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
