and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You took a bar mat shot.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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