dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
