ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Still dying that you shit outside
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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