I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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