It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry about my life...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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