Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
