I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
