So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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