next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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