plz talk dirty to me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
