...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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