Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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