dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
