Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
