so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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