Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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