Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize