Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize