Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
