Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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