My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
