I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
