fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
try to milk me bitch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
