At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dick has a subreddit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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