Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
