Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
