he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
