Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
