just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
