question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
