My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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