She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
