I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
