How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
